Been a while

 

I am not even sure where to start! Last blog I wrote was that we were on to the phase of our lives that included college visits. Oh how time has gone fast. Of the two schools we visited, Amanda ended up at University of Minnesota Mankato!

 Move in day was August 22. Now that I am 3 weeks away from it, I can think of it and not cry. Now most of you know me and know that I am a cry baby by nature. I am cool with it. I have grown into it. We got her room all set up and got her settled in. And then the afternoon became this anxiety ridden day of dread. The dread that I had to leave. And at the point that we just were all making small talk, both her and I with tears in our eyes, I knew it was time to pull the band aide off. The walk from her dorm room to our car felt.....well, I don't have a word for it. All I know is that I cried, tears rolling, snot coming out the nose, I cant breath cry. I wanted to hold on to her forever as we stood by the car. I just wanted to rewind everything. I would take back every sleep less night, every cold, every teething session, I would even clean up vomit......
But I cant. I have to let her go live her life. As Jeremy reminded me, my favorite saying is.



And I had to let her use those wings.....Young Moms out there, screw this saying keep them Mamas boys and girls.....
Ok No. Back on track. Phew....
Its true. I raise the kids to have minds of their own. Letting them know that its ok to be your own people. You will always have a home base, and no matter where life takes you. I will be here, cheering you on.
I am doing much better with her being gone. Its the moments before I go to sleep, when I am saying my prayers, and mentally retucking everyone into bed that it still gets to me. I have never been one to be able to sleep well if all my kids are not under my roof. So she gets an extra prayer. And a kiss blown through the air.
 I read a book for book club once, and there was a saying in there....Now forgive me, because I didn't write it down, so I only kind of remember it, but it was something like....
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please help me bridge the gap between what I had time to teach her and what she needs to learn yet.
Amen.......